Uplake Once Again: Summer Has Begun
I have now been back in Stehekin for almost a month, and I'm amazed at how quickly I've found a sense of peace by returning to a place that I love and getting back to work that I so thoroughly enjoy. This is the first time I am returning to a park for a second season, and this winter was also the first season I took time off. In fact, I don't remember the last time I had actually had a break from work or school before this winter, at least for such a length of time. As much as I appreciated many aspects of my off season and associated free time, I'd be lying if I said I didn't struggle with having SO MUCH free time.
To be frank, I have depressive and anxious tendencies that aren't as obvious when I have a busy schedule and clear, measurable goals to keep me focused. But as it turns out, without a routine and regular work to be done, my mind tends to wander. Occasionally, it gets so far ahead of my current situation that it leaves me behind, teasing, criticizing, and taunting me for seemingly being lazy and useless.
Even though I had great adventures and kept myself plenty busy, I kept dwelling on all of the other things that I could have done as well, or should have done instead. All of the anxiety about what I had or hadn't accomplished seemed to lead right up to the last few moments before getting on the ferry to cross Lake Chelan and get back to Stehekin.
My timing was off, but I was somehow able to make it to the dock with just barely enough time to deal with loading all of my freight, pay for my extra cargo, and take care of long term parking for my car.
By the time I got on the boat, I was sweaty and out of breath from hauling my stuff and running around. For a few minutes, my mind raced about, searching for what I had forgotten - what my next failure had been. But the boat pulled away from the dock, and soon the breeze began to cool me down, the view of the lake and surrounding mountains became clear, and I began to let go of all of those little anxieties nagging at me.
A few hours later, I arrived in Stehekin and was instantly welcomed by familiar faces. One of my friends said "Welcome home," and I felt it. The next day, I participated in the annual Trillium Festival with the rest of the Stehekin community, and within 24 hours of arriving I was fully reacquainted with the town, the people, and my life in this incredible place.
In spite of all my previous apprehensions, I am feeling grounded once again and feel positive about the season. Upon reflection of the past 6 months, I am also grateful for everything I experienced -- from grand adventures to mundane activities; restlessness, anxiety, freedom, exploration, and the familiarity of home.
Now I'm all settled in and have jumped into this season's set of new experiences and adventures. Backpacking, exploring, crafting, gardening, baking, making music to start -- and there's much to be learned and discovered.
Even though I had great adventures and kept myself plenty busy, I kept dwelling on all of the other things that I could have done as well, or should have done instead. All of the anxiety about what I had or hadn't accomplished seemed to lead right up to the last few moments before getting on the ferry to cross Lake Chelan and get back to Stehekin.
My timing was off, but I was somehow able to make it to the dock with just barely enough time to deal with loading all of my freight, pay for my extra cargo, and take care of long term parking for my car.
By the time I got on the boat, I was sweaty and out of breath from hauling my stuff and running around. For a few minutes, my mind raced about, searching for what I had forgotten - what my next failure had been. But the boat pulled away from the dock, and soon the breeze began to cool me down, the view of the lake and surrounding mountains became clear, and I began to let go of all of those little anxieties nagging at me.
A few hours later, I arrived in Stehekin and was instantly welcomed by familiar faces. One of my friends said "Welcome home," and I felt it. The next day, I participated in the annual Trillium Festival with the rest of the Stehekin community, and within 24 hours of arriving I was fully reacquainted with the town, the people, and my life in this incredible place.
In spite of all my previous apprehensions, I am feeling grounded once again and feel positive about the season. Upon reflection of the past 6 months, I am also grateful for everything I experienced -- from grand adventures to mundane activities; restlessness, anxiety, freedom, exploration, and the familiarity of home.
Now I'm all settled in and have jumped into this season's set of new experiences and adventures. Backpacking, exploring, crafting, gardening, baking, making music to start -- and there's much to be learned and discovered.
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